Dream Unlimited

I went to make my dream board yesterday and I just could NOT do it... I started opening up my journals, coaching notes, binders, and planners from 2018 and I got totally overwhelmed! I looked at my 2018 goals, at all the ones I DIDN’T achieve and it froze me in that place of self-doubt... what did you even do in 2018, Becky!?
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I felt defeated. I felt overwhelmed. I felt like all that hard work was not enough. That I was not enough. I could not focus, my brain turned to mush.... the 2019 goals and dream board was NOT happening.
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Jim looked over at me and said, “Let’s go for a walk...” because he could literally feel the anxiety and frustration radiating from me.
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Even though I had reached some goals, I did hit others... I wanted to grow my Thirty-One team to 100, we hit 98. I wanted to read 52 books, and I only read 36. I wanted to help more leaders on my team promote, than I did. See the struggle. But Jim made me focus on what I had done... the numbers I did meet, the trips we had taken, the people I had helped, the growth we had achieved.
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Then it hit me... when I make my dream board for 2019 and I peel of the pictures from 2018 and re-paste them on the new board, it doesn’t symbolize failure... it symbolizes continuing the journey. NOT EVERY GOAL CAN BE REACHED IN ONE YEAR!!!
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It’s not a failure if your dream takes longer than you expect.. it’s only a failure if you stop trying! So bring on the next 365 days to reach those goals and make dreams come true!! #unlimited #empowered #goals

Joyful Presence

When our to do lists are long and our days are full, like during the holiday season, it is easy to get overwhelmed and even frantic to the point we miss the real point!! I believe we are able to embrace the crazy without becoming crazy if we check our hearts and perspectives and keep them focused on the gift that every person, every event, and every memory truly is! By being Present!
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But how do we become more present? The best way to start giving undivided attention is to stop DIVIDING your attention. Studies have shown that humans are truthfully incapable of multitasking.
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Marcus Buckingham wrote…. If you are doing more than one thing at a time, you are doing them both poorly. You may think that you are the exception to the rule, that you are a great multitasker… YOUR NOT!.
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If you don’t believe me, try out a little experiment. Without mentioning why or making a big deal out of it, try giving your child, spouse, friend, mom, lunch lady (whoever) your FULL undivided attention. That means put down the iphone, shut off the radio, turn off the TV, close the magazine and really listen, play, engage in the moment.
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For me this can be difficult. I have this scrolling marque in my mind of the TO DO list. I get it, you have a lot to do.
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But you can choose to Turn that Sucker OFF sometimes and JUST BE. JUST BE…. What would you BE if all you were was Present? Would you be calmer? Less stressed? Happier? Bored? Joyful?
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Do you think your Presence will fill your children with Joy to have someone to play with? Your husband with joy to not have to fight Facebook for your attention? Or fill your mom with joy when you don't rush her off the phone?
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Who can you bring JOY to today with your Presence?

Have You Asked?

Do you ever ASK how you can be better? 

Not just ask yourself the tons of ways we THINK we should be better. 

But, do you ever ask the actual people you want to be better for? 

Recently, Jim and I asked our kids... what can we do to be better parents? And the answers were surprising! I expected less chores and later bedtimes( I was only partially right!) 

💕Samantha wanted me to read to her alone every night. 

💕Shiloh wanted 15 minutes of undivided attention when she comes home from school to talk about her day (without me staring at my computer). 

💕And Joshua wanted a much later bedtime on the weekend to game with his friends.

Done. Done. Done.

Being better and showing up big for those you love isn’t always about the big things, it’s about what matters to them! 

So who can you ask?

•How can I be a better mommy to you?

•How can I be a better wife to you?

•How can I be a better friend to you? 

•How can I be a better leader to you?

•How can I be a better employee to you? 

And don’t forget to ask yourself... How can I be better to YOU this upcoming year!! 

Who wants to be better in 2019??

Marry Your Best Friend

When we were in Atlantis, a friend of mine had brought a girlfriend as her guest. She introduced her as “my best friend who I make bad decisions with”. Without missing a beat I introduced Jim, “this is my best friend who I make bad decisions with.” I can honestly say that I am married to my best friend.

Our journey has not always been easy, and along with the joys in the highlights, we have overcome many challenges. But I can say that getting through the good, the bad, and the ugly has brought us to a place of our best lives and our best relationship. This is not to minimize my amazing girlfriends whose friendships I also cherish, but I will say being married to your best friend is pretty freaking amazing, but it takes intention! I heard Rachel Hollis say today that her husband is her best friend first and then her husband and I couldn’t agree more! 

And because I am practical, for those of you who might be wondering how to foster this friendship with your spouse here are some practical tips: 

1. 

Make time with your spouse a priority. That deep relationship requires intentional time together. Period. We all know life is super busy, so if you’re not intentional with creating that time and guarding that time, it’s less likely to happen! Make it happen!!

2. 

Never stop learning about each other. Ask each other one question a day in person or over text. It can be as simple as, what is your favorite pie? Or As deep as, what is something that you fear? The point is to be continually connecting and learning about each other. There are some great apps and websites with questions to choose from!

3. 

Be physically connected with your spouse. This is not just in the bedroom (which is also super important) but in life too!! Hold hands, sit next each other, hug in the kitchen.... heck, kiss in the kitchen!! Physical closeness helps each partner feel connected and secure! 

4. 

Grow together!! One of the most challenging seasons of our marriage was when Jim and I were growing in different paces or different directions because it ended up creating a distance between us. But when we grow and learning together, it’s a shared experience and a deeper connection. This can be as simple as reading the same book, taking a class together, watching a documentary together, volunteering together!! And here’s a suggestion: learn something that your spouse is into even if you’re not. I learned to play Magic the Gathering with Jim and he learned to do yoga. So if your husband is a golfer, give golf at try!! 

5. 

Don't be afraid to go through the hard stuff together... to flight it out, to go to counseling, to talk about your deepest feeling and biggest fears. Be vulnerable, be open and be honest. When you open your heart, even the parts you are afraid to and your spouse does too, it creates a bond that is deep and real and true.

6. 

Have fun together, be silly, make new adventures!! If you treat your spouse like your best friend, they will become it!! And then you can also make some bad decisions together, and that is often where the real fun is!!

Digital Distractions

This device has the world at your fingertips... 
anything you could ever want to learn is available for you!! 
It is also the biggest distraction from your goals you will ever face!! 

Here are my success tips for screen management: 

1.

 Give yourself time for reflection and planning in the am BEFORE looking at any notifications. Whatever that morning routine looks like for you... gratitude, prayer, meditation, goal review, etc. DO THAT FIRST. Otherwise your brain will begin the day already distracted. 

2.

Know what tasks you need to do on your phone and do them first. Make a list of the tasks, contacts, follow ups, posts and work the list BEFORE being social!! This prevents spending hours online and getting NOTHING done!

3.

Give yourself non-phone time during the day to give your eyes and brain a break!! Often, You may feel overwhelmed because you overwhelmingly YOURSELF with posts, pins, tweets, and stories! Give your brain planned breaks!! 

4.

Likewise, a digital sunset is a must... pick a time that works for you and commit to not looking at your phone AT ALL between that time and the morning! This is especially vital if you can’t sleep at night!! Staring at your screen only makes it worse! Use that restless time to think, read a REAL book, journal, or just lay there! Some of my BEST ideas come to me in the quiet of the night!! 

Feel the Fear

I am just going to be real here for a second... my heart is racing and I am in tears. I just took giant leap of faith! I did what I tell my team to do... FEEL the FEAR and do it anyway!!

I am launching a coaching group to empower women in 2019. You may wonder why that is scary when I coach my team all the time. But Thirty-One is my comfort zone... going public is my leap of faith!

1.

Putting yourself out there is vulnerable. You have that self doubt... Will anyone join? Is what I offer actually valuable? Can I really help women?

2.

Investing in materials is risky... what if no one joins ... I can't wear 40 black t-shirts myself!! I can't write in 40 journals! Well, maybe I can :)

3. 

But I seriously believe that this is what I am supposed to do! Will you believe with me and lift me up in encouragement and prayer that I can do this!

My Thirty-One business and empowering my team is ALWAYS my Number ONE priority, but I also want to help all those women beyond this group that need that empowerment too!! 

Beautifully Empowered

You all know me... you know I love wine, yoga, working out, my husband and kids, and 

EMPOWERING WOMEN!! 

I have been coaching my team for years now and it is actually my most favorite part of my "job", but I also often get requests to help ladies not on my team with their businesses, fitness journeys, marriages, parenting, and most of all SELF-CONFIDENCE and PERSONAL SUCCESS!

So here is my big scary leap of faith...

Here is me getting out of my comfort zone...

Here is me believing that what I have to offer is valuable...

Here is me asking you to take this roller coaster ride with me!!

If you are ready to change your life, for real, not just for 2 1/2 weeks every January or just before swimsuit season or every time you get "motivated"... now is the time. And I would be honored to help!

Do you want to feel…

Energized about life, every day.

Confident in who you are, every day.

Invested in yourself, every day.

Significant to others, every day.

Impactful and purposeful, every day.

In control of achieving your goals, every day.

You can. You can live EMPOWERED every day.

Eight weeks that will change your year and your life. The group starts January 1st, so December 15th is the deadline to register! Sign up for EMPOWERED 2019!!

It's Only $39 for over $200 in group coaching, over $50 in fun swag (incuding a t-shirt, journal, and completion surprise), and a community to EMPOWER you!

Register today at

https://goo.gl/forms/iCA8zuTsRIGdWe8U2

See More at

https://www.beautifullyenough.com/empowered

Boost Your Self-Esteem Month

Beautifully Enough is my Mission, Thirty-One is my Career! 

Did you know that February is Boost your Self-Esteem Month? Women and girls of all ages need to know that they are beautiful and enough!!

Join us to help empower girls and women this month as we mark the sixth anniversary of Thirty-One Gives during International Boost Your Self-Esteem Month! 

When you shop with Thirty-One Gifts, you’re not just buying a bag. You’re supporting an independent businesswoman and helping her reach her goals and dreams. We’re proud to offer high-quality, fashionable and functional products that make life easier for our Customers and their families, along with personalization designs to make each tote, purse, wallet and home décor item mean even more. 

As a company, we are committed to donating approximately 5% of net sales this year in product and cash to organizations that share our mission to empower women. This means that shopping with us is one more way you can become part of the giving heart of Thirty-One.

Ask me how you can shop or help!!

www.mythirtyone.com/beckybridgham

You are Distracted

“Disorder and Distractions are Death” .... not an exact quote, but a concept that screamed at me through my earbuds from an audio book last week. Five weeks into 2018, and it has been a challenging year already.  I started this year with big goals and the specific plans to achieve them, and then as often the case, the distractions came. One thing after another... I don't have to laundry list them, because I  am sure you have your own set of distractions fighting for your attention too!!


My mantra has been “feed your focus and starve your distractions” and it’s honestly been something I’ve had to remind myself daily this year! And through the struggle I have still found success in my goals physically, personally and professionally, but it has not been without a fight.

Here are a few practical things that worked for me:

Make your plan and work your plan FIRST!

Every environment is full of potential distraction whether you work from your kitchen table or the corner office. Creating order in your day is the best weapon to overcome the disorder of distraction. If you have a "must do first" list and you actually work that list first, you will make progress! This is the same for fitness goals or personal development goals too! I have a list of 10 tasks that I make myself do every day, no matter what!! The rest is bonus. What are those tasks for you? If you don't take the time to figure it out, you will constantly be pulled to the next shiny project or idea and will only make scattered and distracted progress toward your goals.  Creating order in your days will lead to creating victory!


Let it go!

A lot of what distracts us are worries, fears, unknowns, and things beyond our control. But having no control over the outcome of these areas is a good thing! Acknowledge them, write them down, and then release them. You dwelling on past challenges or the future unknowns is sucking energy away, creating disorder in your mind and distracting you from your purpose today.  Your brain is only 2% of your body but uses 20% or your energy. What are you focusing that energy on? Yesterday? Tomorrow? How about TODAY?


Get in alignment.

Something I ask myself often is, "Does this align with my goals?" For example, I  love wine and would drink it every night if I could. However, 500+ extra calories and waking up dehydrated every morning, does not align with my fitness goals.  But, enjoying a glass of Old Vine Zinfandel on the porch with my husband does align with my goal of having a connected and passionate marriage. So, sometimes wine is a YES, and sometimes it is a NO.  Only you know the real answer, the key is being willing to ask yourself the question!! It’s never too late to say NO to all the things pulling you away from your goals, purpose, and destiny and say YES to the things that bring energy and progress. Throw off everything that so easily entangles, and run the race set before you.... Victory is waiting.

This year still has the potential to be an amazing for you and for me if we remove distraction and disorder and focus!!

 I'd love to hear from you! How do you overcome distractions?

 Comment below, email me or share on FB!

https://www.facebook.com/beautifullyenough/

www.beautifullyenough.com

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You are not Perfect, and that is OK.

You are not Perfect, and that is ok.

You Are Not Perfect…. Four words spoken in the middle of a conversation that hit me like an arrow between the eyes.

Think of the different ways you can emphasize that same sentence.

YOU are not perfect.

You ARE not perfect.

You are NOT perfect.

You are not PERFECT!

It was like looking in the mirror and seeing someone else’s face. Deep down I knew I wasn’t perfect, but subconsciously I thought is as at least doing a pretty good job making everyone else think I was. The fact was, I wasn’t. I was viewing myself through the lens of intention and not the lens of fact. I was failing.  I was over committed, under connected, and inwardly struggling. I wasn’t as successful as I thought. My house wasn’t as clean as I thought. My body wasn’t as fit as I thought. And I wasn’t as impactful as I thought.

Striving for perfection is like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. With a lot of effort, it can appear full but there is constant need for more—to do more, try more, be more! And that leak eventually leave the bucket empty and unfulfilled.

It wasn’t until I kicked the bucket to the curb, and said “ENOUGH” to striving for perfection, enough to needing external validation, enough to craving accomplishment to feel worthy, that I can rest in imperfection gladly and feel full, whole, and enough.

I learned that I can’t be perfect, nor do I need to be. I can do my best and I can aim at success and growth and accomplishment, but my worth is no longer handcuffed to my perfectionism.

Honnestly, this is still a struggle and a process. I recently fell back into that perfectionism pattern and I lost something valuable in that experience. I was hyper focused on creating the perfect homecoming for my husband who was away traveling, that I ran around doing all the errands, I cleaned the house, I made is favorite dessert, and even left him a small gift to find upon his return. But I was so worried about on creating that perfect scene that I had lost my focus in the process. Was I doing all this for him or for me to look like an amazing wife. I love my husband tremendously, but in this specific occasion, I had let my perfectionism take over.

Brene Brown says that perfectionism at it’s core is not about striving to be your best, it is about trying to earn approval and acceptance.  She also says that healthy striving is self-focused on becoming your best, whereas perfectionism is other focused and more concerned with what others will think.

So when I fall into these patterns I have to ask,

Why am I doing this? What is my motive?

Am I doing this for me or for others?

I don’t want to be perfect anymore. I want to be me. 

Authentic, Messy, Growing and Beautifully Enough.

You are Confident

I love wine for so many reasons- the taste, the relaxation of sipping it slowly and the social aspects. Many relationships have been deepened over a glass or two in our home!

My husband and I belong to wine club at a local winery, that gives us shopping discounts, touring benefits, and an invitation to a quarterly members social. That is the real benefit, honestly! For a few hours, the wine glasses are poured, the appetizers are served, and high energy music is performed. As the night starts out most members are doing to social- acceptable sip, snack and smile, with the occasional clap along. But the last time we attended, there was the most adorable little girl dancing her little heart out while the musician played. Her free spirit made my heart smile, and I took notice of the contrast between her carefree moves and the more cautious actions of the wine club members. I leaned over to my husband and said, “That is what we would all be free to do, if we didn’t care who was watching.”

We have heard the saying, “dance like no one is watching”, but the truth is they are watching and we are very aware of the eyes on us. Because intentionally or unintentionally— others will make us feel like we are not enough, a comment or a look or a criticism can spiral us back to the place of not enough.

But what if we let go and said ENOUGH to what others think and just danced… and maybe that is not physically dancing but maybe it is allowing yourself to dream again, to take a risk, or to speak your mind. What would you do if you didn’t care what others thought. That is the place of enough. Not how much stuff can I gather, not how much stuff is enough, how many pounds are enough, how many likes or shares is enough. Knowing that you self-worth is not dependent on anyone's opinion or approval. It is throwing up you arms and saying "ENOUGH", and resting in the place that of quiet confidence no matter what others think.