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| Photo : https://expertvagabond.com/elephants-in-thailand/ |
Some
of my parent struggles include raising amazing children without the capacity to
flush the toilet, put dirty clothes in the hamper, or chew with their mouths
closed. I have learned to deal with over the years, and just hope that one day
they will grow out of it. But, my peak
parenting fail was when for weeks, I convinced my middle daughter that her
itchy head was just dandruff, and then discovered the most resilience creatures
on this planet—lice had really been the culprit. Talk about mom guilt, parent
fail, shame web all wrapped into one tiny little bug!!
We
went into attack mode washing, brushing, cleaning, combing, disinfecting, and laundering
every inch of our home and hair. And let me tell you, these buggers are
resilient! They are tough, adaptable, and don’t go down without a fight!!
Resilience
Defined:
1.
the
capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
2.
the
ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.
When
I think of resilience, I think of those extraordinary people who have endured great
struggle and overcome—first responders, illness survivors, recovering addicts,
etc. But the truth is we are all resilient, it is an ordinary aspect of life,
not reserved for the super strong or super human.
Just
like the lice, we are tough, adaptable and don’t go down without a fight! But
sometimes there is an element of failure, guilt or shame that accompanies our
struggles. And sometimes that leads us to mask our emotions and needs. Here is
what I wish I had known earlier in life and hope to share with you:
It
is not weakness to need others or to ask for help.
It
is not weakness to share your real emotions, even when they are messy.
It
is not weakness to not have it all figured out or have no idea what to do next.
It
is not weakness to need time to heal and recover.
It
is not weakness to struggle… it is human!
This
is where resilience begins… just like a ball, to bounce back, you sometimes
must hit the ground, hard-- figuratively or literally. And if you need help
bouncing, share your struggle with those who have earned to right to hear it.
Not a mass facebook post, but a spouse or trusted friend who loves you no
matter what. Once I began my journey to emotional wholeness, I shared my
struggles with a few life-long friends who loved me through some very hard and
dark parts of my life.
It
wasn’t until a few months later, I heard the most wonderful analogy. When an elephant
is injured, fellow elephants will stand closely next to it to hold it up while
it heals, because it if falls, it will be unable to get back up again. Do you
have those people in your life that will stand with you and hold you up while
you heal? Are you that support for someone else? It may be time to act like
lice and find your elephants!
